Jun 3, 2011

Looking Good and Showing off My Ass-ets

So I have to impart to y'all this horrifying incident which happened to me last Tuesday.  Running errands during lunch like mad in preparation for Brother's wedding, I was feeling rather spiffy. Hair was freshly done, and I was (for once) wearing an absolutely darling lady lawyer outfit.  Black and white Hounds-tooth pumps, with just a smidgen of peep toe, sleeveless black dress with a stylish cowl neck collar thing, crisp white button up underneath, pearl, gold chain and black ribbon super-fashionable statement necklace, and a skinny black patent leather belt.  To contrast, today I am wearing a black knit shift dress and black flats.

So, yeah, pretty darn spiffy.  Others were noticing too.  I was getting lots of appreciative looks as I strutted into Earthfare to pick up a salad and piece of pizza. I flipped my freshly blown out locks, just for the hell of it. Ladies- I was working it.

Until the tap on my shoulder as I waited in line.

"Excuse me, honey?"

"Yes Ma'am?" I politely respond to the nice older lady standing behind me.  Maybe she is going to ask where I got my hair cut, or purchased my darling shoes.

"Do you know your slit in the back of your dress is ripped up pretty high?"

My mouth agape, and unable to speak, I frantically grope the back of my dress.  I must have snagged the slit on something, because it now extended all the way to the waist of my undies (which thank you baby Jesus were grannies, and not, gasp, pantyhose or a thong).

I finally stutter out some thanks for alerting me to my situation.  Still frozen with horror I watch as she fishes around her pocketbook for a safety pin, to no avail.  Finally I thank her again, scurry away in a very ungainly fashion, while trying to clutch my dress closed.

Once I get into the safety of my vehicle, I take a deep breath, and burst into laughter.  Thank God I was not in a client meeting, or even at work.  I headed home, switched out my dress for a more appropriate look and went about my day.

If YM was still around, and I was 12 I would have written in, as this was definitely a "Say Anything" type of embarrassing incident.  Any such incidents happen to y'all lately?


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  2. Oh my goodness, bless that sweet little old lady's heart for telling you! That's really too funny. The dress sounds adorable - hope you can have it fixed and wear it again.

  3. Oh my gosh- hilarious! That's something that I would absolutely do :)

  4. DIE! That is so funny, thank goodness for the kindness of strangers. And that is perfect for YM.

  5. Oh my goodness! I am so glad someone told you! How funny yet awful, I would have died!

  6. Hi! I'm a relatively new follower and I absolutely love your blog. I simply had to comment on this post. One word. HILARIOUS! I cannot thank you enough for sharing ;)


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