Oh Dear, Country Wrong

For some reason Blogger decided to delete the entire post I wrote last night.  Not cool, internet.

Here's the gist of it-

Gywneth Paltrow is starring in a movie Country Strong, which comes out first week of January (clunker week).  She is totally weird casting for the part, rant, rant, rant about accents etc.  Her voice sounds fine, but she went to Spence!

It won't embed properly, so please go here.

Who do you think would be better? How great would Miss Cutie Patootie, Rachel McAdams, be??

Cult Classics

Do y'all remember watching the same movies over and over again in early high school?  We would go out for a little bit- I can't for the life of me remember what in the world we would do (hang out at people's houses, I suppose) then all of girls would spend the night at one girl's house and watch movies.  Grease was a perennial favorite, which we watched constantly.  The other three were not quite such, um, classics. 

Dazed and Confused- Texas, last day of school, seventies and pot.  Love Parker Posey in this- "Fry like little piggies, bitches!"  It just made you want to haze people, no?

"SENIORS! SENIORS! S-E-N-I-O-R-S!  SENIORS! SENIORS! Seniors are the best!"

My "character" was played by Joey Lauren Adams.  Basically she was me because she was a squinty blonde with a squeaky voice.  MOH was Parker Posey's character- guess you were mean in high school, MOH?  I was Frenchie in Grease- squeaky voice again.

Have y'all heard this weird story about Jason London (aka Randall "Pink" Floyd)'s twin brother, Jeremy (who was never as good looking IMHO)?  There was a lot of smoking in the bathroom at my high school, just like the movie.  (Ahem, there was probably some pot smoking going on in my high school's bathroom just like the movie as well- I don't know from personal experience, Mama!).

Ah, then there was Mallrats.  Back when Kevin Smith was still funny, Shannen Doherty had a super cute shag hairdo, and motorcycle boots which I coveted with all of my super tough fourteen year old heart.  Oooh, Jeremy London was in this one!   The London brothers were so hot in the early-mid-nineties! And Joey Lauren Adams is in it also!

Now Mallrats captures that weird moment of 1994-1996 so well- those pictures that would turn 3D if you squinted at them, flannel, mini-florals, and the concept of mall rats in general.  Do people still just hang out in malls?

Ah, then when it was time for something scary-

"Mr. Walk-a, I'm here for your daughter."  So many good nineties clichés in this one too- I mean the rave in the warehouse in Seattle?  Incredible.  Hahahaha, when Marky Mark pounds his chest to make it look like Nicole's dad punched him?  Hilarious. 

Wonder why Reese never discusses this movie when she talks about her early work?  Maybe because she gets a hand up her skirt riding a roller coaster and trying to look orgasmic instead of uncomfortable since she's in public while a cover of Wild Horses plays?  Or maybe it's the dog head (shudder) that comes through the doggie door when Marky Mark and his Funky Bunch attack the house.  Unfortunately, Nicole gave him the code so he could swipe her v-card while her parents were out of town.  Don't you think you would be able to stay awake waiting for such a momentous occasion?  Such a great movie.  Alyssa Milano, the best friend?  Such a beee-yotch!  Never liked her since Fear.

So what were your repeat horrible yet wonderful high school flicks?  So many to choose from, but these were definitely my favorite.

A Classic Never Goes Out of Style

Hello Robert Redford and Paul Newman.  I have been watching some TCM lately and mulling old time movie stars/matinée idols.  I prefer a manly man type, more Matt Damon than Leonardo DiCaprio in today's term's.  But the classics- oh, they're the best.  I dare you to watch Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid without falling madly in love with these two:

Then there are the rest of my true loves most handsome men in the world favorites-

Although Daniel Craig has made massive strides, no one but Sean Connery is the true Bond- who can beat his combination of arrogance and sophistication?

Steve McQueen- the bad boy.  When this photo was published in Life magazine in 1963, a reader wrote- "Sirs: Was it necessary to show such suggestive and provocative photographs of Steve McQueen and his lovely wife...? I am no prude but your magazine is seen every week by our most important national asset, the teen-agers, and you are setting a bad example by displaying such photographs."

Gregory Peck.  He's Atticus Finch- enough said on that sexy factor. 

Okay, if you need more, see Roman Holiday.

Then the all time gold standard.

Mr. Cary Grant

If you want to swoon, please rent the following; To Catch a Thief (try not to covet Grace Kelly's wardrobe so bad that tears spring to your eyes), Indiscreet, That Touch of Mink (a Doris Day movie with Cary taking over for Rock Hudson), or An Affair to Remember.  Dark, dashing, and debonair, he broke the mold.

Who am I forgetting off my list of classic hotties?  Inform, remind and educate me!

Crazy Heart

Okay, so Maggie and Kate got me super excited for this film and it's soundtrack, but I took my sweet time finally getting to see it. Finally did on Tuesday night (dollar popcorn night, naturally). This ban on running and/or exercise due to the heinous shin splints is giving me lots of free time.

I loved it- one of those movies you want to live and breathe for a little bit. I noticed the book (which I didn't realize it was based on, did you, Maggie or Kate?), at Target the other day. Has anyone read it?

Anyway, I love old country. Waylon Live is one of my desert island albums, and when I lived in NYC I listened to Hank Junior everyday on the subway ride home from my internship (yeah, I did not have the happiest experience living there for a summer). Oh, then there's Billy Joe Shaver, and Jerry Reed, and David Allen Coe (on who's tour bus I wet my pants once due to fear, but that's another story), and all the real old stuff, goodness. So the whole movie, I was keeping an ear open for who Bad Blake, the protagonist resembled in sound. To me, the soundtrack reminded me most of J.J. Cale- one of my favorite artists to see live.  I got home last night and compiled my own Bad Blake-esque album of some of my faves-

1.  T is For Texas- Waylon Jennings (from Waylon Live),  I challenge you to not sing this song at the top of your lungs

2.  Cajun Moon- J.J. Cale- like many of his songs, it's quiet, a little spooky, and addictive

3.  Georgia on a Fast Train- Billy Joe Shaver- an autobiographical tune of his, this is another one I prefer to sing at the top of my lungs

4.  Long Haired Country Boy- Charlie Daniels Band- It's the lake, it's a cold beer, it's windows down in the car.

5.  Please Come to Boston- David Allen Coe- one of his tamer tunes, I really think it's a beautiful song.

6.  Lukenbach, Texas- Waylon Jennings- no explanation needed.

7.  Knoxville Courthouse Blues- Hank Williams, Jr.-  For obvious reasons, I like this song by title alone, but I also love speculating whether it's a true story.  I  know James Brown has been to jail here, not sure on Hank.

8.  Highwayman- The Highwaymen- Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson and Kris Kristofferson, does it get any better?

9.  Ride Me High- J.J. Cale- one of the sexiest songs ever.

10.  Amos Moses- Jerry Reed- Me and brother love this one (especially after a few beers).

11.  Mama Tried- Merle Haggard- I love the guitar in this song- first heard the Grateful Dead's version which got me into Merle in early high school.

12.  Sensitive Kind- J.J. Cale- I remember in college falling asleep to this song in college, wondering where the guy was who would appreciate that I am a sensitive kind.

13.  Magnolia- J.J. Cale- I like this with Sensitive Kind- feel like two parts of the same song.

14.  Me and Paul- Waylon Jennings- I think Bad Blake would definitely identify with this one.  Outlaw country life on the road.

15. Guitar Town- Steve Earle- see above.

16.  Live Forever- Billy Joe Shaver- I was so excited when they discuss this song in the movie, because I just adore it.

17.  Call Me the Breeze- J.J. Cale- he wrote this, Cocaine, After Midnight, Traveling Light, Crazy Mama- I mean the man is an incredible songwriter.  Eric Clapton once said that Lay Down Sally was his attempt to write a J.J. Cale song.  I love me some Slow Hand, but he doesn't even come close.

What would you add to my "Inspired by" soundtrack?  Have you seen Crazy Heart?  Or any other Oscar contenders?

Case of the Mondays

Lord, I am grumpy today.  I do want to announce the winner of the giveaway- #8 according to the random number generator thingie.  Bethany was the eighth entry so congrats! Send me an e-mail with your address please!

A lot of you asked about Banish Fat and Boost Metabolism versus the infamous Shred.  I love the Shred, but I use it along with heavy weights as my third weight-lifting day.  BFABM is about an hour and straight up cardio, so I do it on a cross training day from running, or if my blasted right shin is acting up, as it currently is.  Which combined with torrential rain, led to a lot of laying on the couch the weekend.  Blergh. I did catch some good stuff such as:

1.  The Hurt Locker- This is the likely reason for my current dour mood, not because it was depressing, but due to the fact that I was super tense the entire time.  Therefore, sleep did not happen.  See it- it's wonderful and interesting.  However, don't try and sleep immediately after wards.

2.  The SAG awards.  Find George Clooney talking about how Betty White is a bobcat in the sack on YouTube or whatever.  It's amazing.

3.  Lots of Sporting Events.  These consisted of NFL playoffs and basketball.  I find both of these vastly inferior to college football, and therefore read my book and made bored noises while Hubs partook.

And, to cure this case of the Mondays, how about a gratuitous picture of George himself.

Book Report (with a Makeover Movie Digression)

So I am existing on caffeine today because I stayed up last night finishing Tainted by Brooke Morgan.  It's a well written psychological suspense novel set in Cape Cod. 

Here's the description "In a dazzling tour de force of suspenseful storytelling, first-time novelist Brooke Morgan ingeniously peels away layers of artifice and deception to reveal the fears and uncertainties that live in the hearts of us all."


Here's my input- starts slow, but a couple chapters in you are hooked.  I stowed it in my purse so I could read it at every opportunity.  Also, last night when I finally finished, I slept with the lights on (although I am a huge scaredy cat).  So please read it!

I also recently finished The Overnight Socialite by Bridie Clark, and enjoyed it thoroughly.  If you have read Pygmalion or seen My Fair Lady, then there are no surprises in the story, but it's still a fun read.  Also, I am a huge sucker for makeover stories.  I used to own a copy of "She's All That" on VHS.
Shameful.

Here's the reviews from those whose views are not clouded by an obsession with teen makeover (see Teen Witch, Can't Buy Me Love, She's Out of Control, etc.)
 
From Publishers Weekly
Clark (Because She Can) moves the Pygmalion myth to Manhattan, adds a dash of Thelma and Louise and proves what goes around, comes around to those born to the manor or trailer park. Professor Higgins is recast as suave bachelor Wyatt Hayes IV, the sleekest lion in the pride, who picks down-on-her-luck fashion designer wannabe Lucy Jo Ellis to make over into the toast of the town. The deal is eventually struck—makeover and a shot at well-born fashion contacts for a gentleman's bet that masks a lucrative and career-saving book deal. Along the way, these perfectly matched antagonists battle mean-as-a-snake society snoots and their own misguided ambitions to find happiness and each other. (And, it should be said, the Rain in Spain remix is pretty great: The snow in Gstaad puts Aspen's to shame! the newly svelte and prepped Lucy proclaims.) Yes, of course the ending's no surprise, but the rollicking, smart-aleck fun along the way is worth the price of admission. (Dec.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Graydon Carter
“Quite enchanting...It’s Pygmalion in Lilly Pulitzer.”

William Norwich, Vogue
“If Edith Wharton reincarnated in a Marc Jacobs dress with the humor of a Park Avenue Nancy Mitford, that would be Bridie Clark. Hats off to The Overnight Socialite, a distinguished froth of rich social satire and romance.”

Publishers Weekly
“The rollicking, smart-aleck fun along the way is worth the price of admission.”

Jules Asner, author of Whacked
“Bridie Clark made me laugh out loud from the first chapter in this sharp and pitch perfect modern fairy tale.”

Library Journal
“Crisp, funny prose and endearing characters...a fun read for fans of well-written chick lit.”

Disney Discussion! (I'm Belle)

So, I decided posting about babies and cooking was way too much maturity.  I think a little Disney discussion is on order this Friday morning.  So from least favorite to big puffy hearts, here's my sampling:

Sleeping Beauty- snooze bomb IMHO.  Of course, I have not seen it since I was a child and have a much greater appreciation of sleep now so maybe another viewing is in order.  I'm sure Hubs will be thrilled.

Bambi- hell to the no.  I refuse to watch this movie ever again.  I got so stressed during Finding Nemo that I had to turn it off and take a break.  One traumatic viewing of this movie as a tot was enough for me, thanks.

Lady and the Tramp- I like the spaghetti stuff, and the Siamese cats.  "We are Siamese if we please (bah dum dum)", which is sung by one of my favorite chanteuses- Miss Peggy Lee.  I will definitely have that in my head for the rest of day.

Snow White- I love this movie now, but as a kid, that witch was pretty damn scary.  This may be the reason why I only like green apples.  Mmmm, probably not.  Snow White is definitely the prettiest Disney "princess".

Fox and the Hound- "I'm a hound dog, Rooooooooooo!"  Hee.  Love this movie- it is very stressful though.  but look how cute the little guys are!  My pupological clock is out of control, y'all.

Aladdin- Pretty cool, although it received negative points for including the song "A Whole New World" which grates on my last nerve.

Beauty and the Beast- So, while doing research for this blog post, I took a quiz- "What Disney Princess Are You?" (And Hubs says my blog is not mature- ha!).  Apparently I'm Belle, I think because I read a lot.  I would rather be Cinderella or Snow White, but I really hate housework.  Also, do y'all remember that freaky series Beauty and Beast that was on prime time when we were little?  The Beast lived in the sewers, I think? 

The Little Mermaid BRINGS THE HEAT!!  Sebastian=awesome.  Flounder is a little lame, but every girl needs her slightly lame adoring sidekick.  Ursula is super terrifying, yet incredible.  Side note- a friend of mine was standing on the beach down at Seaside.  Being who he is, he was ripping a cigarette and downing his beer, when a little girl comes running up to him, screaming in ecstasy "Mommy, Mommy!  Look!  It's Prince Eric!". Ha!  My friend, of course, had no clue what in the world she was talking about.  Hilarious.

Here Ariel is singing "Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?  Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?  Wouldn't you think I'm the girl, the girl who has everything?"  So awesome.

And now a face-off.

Cinderella versus The Lion King

I mean, two of my favorite things- shoes and lions.  Seriously, I love lions- it's a weird obsession, but I'm a Leo so maybe it's astrological?

Okay, Cinderelly is fabulous and my childhood favorite.  I tried to name every pet Gus after the chubby mouse.  I also am a sucker for a good makeover movie, and Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo rocks.

Mice with kerchiefs!  Does it get any cuter?

Well, maybe- lions cubs!  Before I left to teach school in Tanzania, my primary preparation was repeated viewings of the Lion King, which was "filmed" in the Ngorongoro Crater in Tanzania. People really say

Hakuna Mattata there!  Africa, I heart you.

So what do y'all think- agree with me?  Think I am absolutely nuts, and my list is ALL wrong?  I probably left some classics out, I am sure, so let the Disney discussion commence!  And most importantly- take the TeenNick quiz and find out what princess you are- hee.

So Apparently I Am a Tween

So, yesterday Hubs made a comment that he had read the blog.   I (with no small amount of trepidation) asked him what he thought. "Well, it's not really something to be proud of, (he denies saying that part, but I know what I heard).  It's kind of middle school girl-ish". 

I mentally scrambled, frantically trying to think of a scathing retort that would show how intellectually stimulating Spice and Sass is for you readers.  Instead, all I could think about was how my next post was going to be a review of the movies I had seen this weekend.

The Princess and the Frog, and The Fantastic Mr. Fox*.  Two animated movies based on children's books.

My reply to Hubs, realizing that my maturity was not very defensible?

"Well, maybe you aren't the target audience for my blog."

After the holidays it will be all high-brow all the time occasionally.

*I highly recommend both movies!  Go see them with or without a tween. Mr. Fox is a Wes Anderson movie, and very in tune with the rest of his work.  I heart Wes Anderson so I loved it.

Princess and the Frog was great too- classic animation, New Orleans setting, tunes by Randy Newman and a hilarious "southern belle" supporting character.  It's no Little Mermaid or Lion King, but definitely on par with Aladdin.

Movie of the Week

So the other day, there was a Twitter discussion on some favorite Lifetime movies, a genre I'm sure we are all familiar with.  I am particularly a fan of the ones set in high school and college.  Cheating husbands and vengeful wives don't do it for me as much. So here are my faves-

Friends Til the End

 Amazing- the IMDB plot keywords for this movie are Rock Band, Murder, Obsession, Deception and Stage Fright.  Shannen Doherty plays a sweet sorority girl who fronts a rock band, which her hot boyfriend (Jason London) is also in.  Somehow, through her kindness she befriends nerdy Zanne (nee Suzanne) and begins to show her the ropes of being cool.  Then Zanne takes over her life, room at the sorority house, boyfriend and spot in the band. Then it gets dangerous, all because Shannen Doherty beat Suzanne in a pageant, since which point Suzanne became delusional, paranoid and hell bent on revenge.

Death of a Cheerleader

Love this one- Tori Spelling is really mean to Kelli Martin so she kills her.  That's pretty much the movie.

A Secret Between Friends

The girl on the left teaches the girl on the right to get an eating disorder.  The girl on the the left dies when a car hits her from a heart attack because she is so weak from only eating a carrot stick, piece of celery and saltine a day.  Very after school special.

Coed Call Girl

At this point Tori Spelling has moved on to college.  She randomly falls into a life of a high priced escort in order for cash for college tuition.  Criminal charges and violence ensure (duh).

And finally, the ultimate:

Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?

This is probably the best of its name alone.  Please read this recap.  Then check out Tori's hair.  Not a good phase for Donna Martin.

Domestic Goddess Fail

So, Hubs did not get home til almost nine, at which point I was comfortably ensconced on the couch  in a very big texting convo with one of my best friends, A.S.S. (those are real initials).

Me:  Tell your husband I am so impressed that he and Johnny Mercer went to the same high school! (Woodberry Forest for the curious)

A.S.S.: Who on earth is Johnny Mercer?

Me:  What!  Google him!  I can't believe you are from Georgia and don't know who Johnny Mercer is!  Moon River, Zip Dee Doo Dah, One for my Baby and One More for the Road?

A.S.S.:  OH NO WAY! he went to Woodberry & (her husband) didn't know that?  I'm shocked & feel. . .let down? 

A.S.S.: MMMMOOOOOOOOOONNN RIIIIIIIVVER!

Me: Watching his bio on Turner Classics right now, and wearing a UGA snuggie.  I am eighty years old.

A.S.S.:  O

A.S.S.:  M

A.S.S.:  G

A.S.S.:  And now we're watching it. 

So, due to a funny tummy and the ensuing inability to leave the couch, I had zero desire for dinner.  I made my self some scrambled eggs and toast- pitiful.  However, I made everything else, and all Hubs had to do was throw the marinaded pork chop on the grill.  The grill which was out of gas. He ordered pizza.  I am apparently not a domestic diva.  However, the Johnny Mercer bio is really interesting- it's produced by Clint Eastwood.  It makes me long for the era of big musical numbers, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.  Except for the whole Great Depression thing.

I am like Switzerland

My perfectly neutral, I-heart both-Smokey-and-Uga outfit for the game this past Saturday.  I was very impressed with my Switzerland-like neutrality in dressing.  Hubs was not so impressed after my five thousand attempted conversations about my outfit.  Yeah, he didn't really give a shit.

Look at that orange, red, white and black!!

Also, in the center of this pic is the back of Mark Richt's balding head.  I don't care about the thinning spot, I just think he is dreamy.  Sigh.

Also, Sunday afternoon I saw Couples' Retreat.  Don't make the same mistake I did.

Oh, and I also wimped out about mentioning the blog.  I took a nap instead.  Thanks for all of ya'll's advice though.  Keep it coming, ladies!  I need all the help I can get.

More Anna "Nuclear" Wintour Reflections

Still skinny as all get out but a little less polished back in the day, hmmmm, Anna?  Although your allegience to fur and the bob has remained a constant in the ever-changing sea of fashion, no?

This looks like a Donna Martin castoff, my dear.  Although I'm sure it was quite chic at some point in the 1990's.

Heidi Klum would be excessively concerned with the lack of support in this gold lame top (bodysuit??).  However, her clothing has remained the same in its proportions- fitted tops, flowing skirt, or sheath. 

Until you get to this lovely number-

Ya'll, in my hometown there is a drugstore with a soda fountain, that all of us have been patrons of since we were wee tots.  They have the best grilled cheese, chocolate shakes, and pimento cheese burgers around.  Mmmmm.  However, all the waitresses hate their lives, jobs and by default their customers (until you get to know them of course).  Also, as a result of the yummy food described previously, the majority of them weigh about 500 lbs. each. 

Their preferred waitress outfit-

Substitute a Tasmanian Devil for those flowers on the sweatshirt, stick a Virginia Slim in Anna's mouth, and she's ready to sling some tater tots!

Seeing these totally make up for the fact she called the nice camera-man fat in The September Issue.

These pictures were found courtesy of the Huffington Post