Mar 31, 2010

Ode to Ovella

So many of y'all, like myself, have devoured The Help by Kathryn Stockett.  Earlier this week, I was reading an interesting article in the New York Times regarding the book's success, and criticism of the book.  Apparently, The Help has received a fair amount of flack for being racist, which is possibly due to the fraught situation of a white woman writing in the voice of African-American woman in the 1960's.  However, this irritates me to no end!  Does anyone criticize the legions of male authors who write in a female voice? Hmmph.

The Help was especially poignant to me because of my own special relationship with my "fake grandmother" Ovella.  Y'all, I was composing this post in my head last night before I went to sleep, and became so emotional.  I'm glad Hubs was in Columbia for work- he would have thought I was a crazy person when he glanced over at me and saw tears streaming down my face. He already thinks I'm pretty nutty actually, so it might not make too much  of a difference, I suppose.

Ovella came into my family's life when Mama was three, and cute as a button (though probably no less trouble than her two older sisters and older brother)-
It was about 1954 and Ovella  had recently moved to Knoxville from working in a house in Buckhead.  She grew up on a farm in Georgia on a farm with 15 brothers and sisters- including 2 sets of twins.  Ovella had a twin named Rosella, who died when she was born.  The other set of girl twins were named Novella and Osella.  I can't remember them now, but as a child I loved to reel off the names of all sixteen, memorized like a nursery rhyme. Many of the siblings died, so there were eight children growing up, with Ovella as the baby.  This was baffling to me as a child since the youngest was my baby brother- hard to imagine a seventy year old woman being the baby when you're five.

I love this picture- I look so content in Vella's arms.
Ovella did not have children of her own, as she married David later in life.  David had worked on the railroad and lost a leg in the process.  He had a wooden leg which was fascinating to my brother and I.  He was also a preacher, and they were very involved in their church.  At her funeral many words were spoken about Deaconess Wilmer, and what a godly woman she was.  Every time I make a bed, I think of Ovella singing hymns under her breath, and teaching me to "smooth out the wrinkles."
Aunt Becca, cousin Amanda, Aunt Rachel, Ovella, Me, Aunt Mary, and Brother

Ovella saved my Aunt Becca's life. Two more little girls had followed my mama (they don't call it the baby boom for nothing).  Aunt Becca had somehow found a box of matches which she was delightedly against all instructions was playing with- this was the 60's when everyone smoked, or if they did not, like my grandparents, provided the accouterments to do so for their guests.  Ovella was going about her work, when she heard screams.  She dashed into the room where Becca was engulfed in flames.  With quick thinking and disregard for her own safety, Ovella grabbed Becca and rolled her up in a rug, dousing the fire.  Both went to the hospital, but my aunt's life was saved.

This is my brother returned from a four-wheeling adventure, muddy as he can be, much to Vella's bemusement. 
Ovella taught me so much, from bed-making and dusting, to living life with grace, humility and faith (a lesson which I will always be struggling to learn).  As I grew older, I simply introduced her to people as my grandmother, preferring that designation of the longer explanation of how she was part of our family.  Although, we shared no blood, she was in fact my grandmother through love. 

My family still uses Ovella's words of praise whenever there is an achievement whether small or great- "You're so smmaaah-art!" It was great praise indeed.

Oh law, I had so much more to say, but now I'm tearing up again thinking of her funeral and the minister calling us her "white family", hee.   So discussion time readers- did you think The Help was racist?  Was there an Ovella in your or your parents' lives?

21 comments:

  1. My (older generations of) family had help over the years & I'll never forget the sound of singing & fried chicken being made in my Great Great Aunt's house as a little girl, as I peeked shyly around the door. From the stories told, they were all members of the family. My Grandmother said The Help was so real it was eerie.

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  2. I don't think the book was racist at all. I think that is an easy accusation to hurl at the author's success. She was in no way defending life back then, simply recounting it. I loved the book and think that it is going to be really hard to find another book that is as equally enriching and easy to read.

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  3. I am 1/4 of the way through The Help and I am LOVING it! I think it is a fascinating read, especially the way the author transitions between the different characters.

    As far as my experience with "The Help..." my mom's mother died when my mom was 18 yrs old, and her younger sisters were 7 and 12. My grandfather needed help raising four girls, so Alberta came into our life. Or Aunt Birdie as we all called her. And much like your Ovella, Alberta became a part of our family and we became a part of hers. It was so neat to get her influence on our family traditions, i.e. some of her favorite dishes now appear regularly at our family dinners. Unfortunately though, Alberta died when I was pretty little, so I missed out getting to spend that much time with her. But my OBYB (that stands for Older But Younger Brother...i'm guessing you can figure out what I mean by that...) got to spends lots of time with her.

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  4. such a good story! i can tell she meant a lot to you and your family :)

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  5. What a precious woman - and a great story! So glad you shared, and that your family has so many wonderful memories of her.

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  6. I don't think the book itself is racist but it is talking about a very racist time period. I think all the attitudes portrayed in the book hold true. Charity was my families Ovella. She passed away when I was 2 but she raised my grandmother and then went on to work for her and raised my Mom and Uncles. I love hearing all of the stories about Charity. She was truly a member of our family. My Grandmother too said that she felt like she was getting a snapshot of her life while reading The Help.

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  7. What a great story. I havent read The Help so I cant comment on it.

    There were a few African American women that worked with my mom (she owned a soul food buffet style restaurant) that were like 2nd mothers to me growing up. My mom got rid of the restaurant when I was in 10th or 11th grade. The women still talk to my mom every so often and ask about me and tell my mom that they love me. They will always hold a special place in my heart. :)

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  8. What a sweet story!! Sounds like your life was blessed for having known her. I have read The Help- and I really don't get how people say it was racist? It is more a periodical piece of literature...!

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  9. I think it is so disappointing that people are referring to 'The Help' as Racist! If anything it helps to point out how things may have been or bring to light the important relationships such as yours with Ovella. This book was so good and I have recommended it many people. I hope others can see past the criticism and read it for what it is.

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  10. What a great family story! Thanks for sharing.

    I've read the Help and not once did I think it was racist. I never got that impression. I think it was meant to portray that era. It's a part of history, which doesn't make it right, just true. The message I read (and will hopefully be depicted in the movie) is one of courage, determination and understanding.

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  12. What a precious woman Ovella was! :) The Help was the first book I read in 2010, and I devoured it. My mother finished it a couple days ago, and we've been talking about the idea of a white person writing in a black dialect. For me, Stockett's personal account at the end of the book really authenticated her perspective. She was writing what she knew, and I think that's why it resonated with readers. At the end of the day, it was a rich, emotional account of three people's lives and their unlikely intertwinement.

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  13. The Help has been sitting in my pile since I received it for christmas but I've been so busy I haven't picked it up yet! I didn't have an Ovella but my momma did. My grandmother had TB right after momma was born and had to spend 2 years in a sanitarium before returning home. I think she was around to raise my momma and my grandmother.

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  14. I'm so glad you posted this. In my book club for The Help last week, I asked everybody if they thought this book was an entirely different experience for Southern readers, since it is so far removed from anything us California girls have known. I'm so glad to hear your story and how it related to you. Ovella sounds like a wonderful role model.

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  15. I really enjoyed reading this post. I loved the Help but one of the most facinating aspects of it was how foreign the culture was to me. I grew up in Oregon as did my parents and grandparents and great grand parents. My great great grandparents came over on the Oregon Trail in the 1800's and the family has for the most part lived on cattle and sheep ranches, grown from homesteads. There is no "help" except maybe a ranch hand here or there. Hired household help is very uncommon here. Also there are very few African Americans in most of Oregon, the exception being Portland.

    When I was reading the Help I wondered how common the experience was. So it's wonderful to hear your story. To answer your question about rasism. I agree with you entirely. Men have been writing women's point of view for centuries so how can it be that different for a white woman to write from a black woman's perspective.

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  16. I've not read the Help so I can't speak to it - but i'm so happy to have read this story. You are so open about your life and your feelings about it - love that! The pictures and stories were priceless - she had a WONDERFUL "white family". :)

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  17. What a sweet and honest post! I don't have experience with having someone in our family like that but deeply enjoyed The Help and the vulnerability that Kathryn allowed when writing in the voice of the black women. I think it is a book that creates a dialog and that is the best thing it can do.

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  18. Samma,
    This post brings tears to my eyes. I loved Ovella so much and I am pleased that she was as influential in your life as she was in mine. Tomorrow is her birthday as she always liked to remind me...she was an April's
    Fool baby. I loved at the funeral when the preacher called me her white daughter and that I could be with her when she died. Thanks for this memorial.
    Love you,
    Mama

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  19. Samma, I love both this post and your Mama's response to it. My childhood friend had an Ovella who just passed about a year ago. What's funny is I hadn't seen her in about twenty years until about a year ago and in my memory she never really had a race, so I was surprised to see that she was African American. She was the mother my friend Sarose never had and cared for her in such a maternal way it was beautiful.

    I didn't find The Help to be racist at all. I think Kathryn did an incredible job portraying what that time period was like and truth be told, I found her writing of "the help" to seem more authentic. As long as there is media, people will always try to cause a ruckus over something that really is so small.

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  20. Samma,
    I'm so sorry to hear about Ovella. I always loved hearing stories about her.

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  21. I would say that the situation is the exact opposite of racism. These ladies were, and are, dearly loved and they have earned the highest respect. Where would we be without the Ovellas, and Mamies and Miss Ma'ams of our lives? I shudder to even think of it.

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